We're All Insane: South Park (Discontinued)
by CrayWolf
Summary: "We're all here because of different things. Things that have happened to us and things that haven't. But in the end we all ended up here for one single reason." His face is painted with a thoughtful smirk. "Oh yeah, what's that?" I ask curiously. He leans in close and I can feel his breath on my face. "We're all insane." (Will be rewritten)
1. It all started a week ago

**A/N: Hey! Cray Wolf here with another story! I know right, I should just stop? Nah! Okay, so this story is actually going to be kinda personal. This Fanfiction is going to be about a mental hospital, South Park style! Odd, right? Well, I myself, have been in psychiatric care facilities eight different times. There's a reason my name is Cray Wolf. I be Cray. I'm not going into details about WHY I've been in care, but I'm just saying I want to write a story relatable and realistic to real life. This story features CREEK! (Craig X Tweek) Yay! Yaoi! This first chapter is pretty short, but it's mainly a prologue.**

 **NOTE: This is a YAOI! Which means Boy Love! I don't plan to make this smutty.**

 **WARNING: This is a South Park Fanfiction! That means you can expect profanity and adult humor! Triggers! Many things mentioned in this story could include: Self-harm, suicide, drugs, alcohol, and tragedy. If any of this will trigger you, please! Do not read this story! You have been warned.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park nor am I affiliated with it in any way. I only own the plot and story line!**

 _ **We're All Insane**_

 **Questions swirl inside of my head**

 **Secrets whisper from under my bed**

 **Sometimes I think I'd rather be dead**

 **But in the end I just chat with the voices instead**

 **Cray Wolf**

 **Chapter One: I Hate Doctors**

" **Maybe I didn't put up my walls to keep people out, maybe I only wanted to see who cared enough to break them down."**

 **Unknown**

It all started a week ago. When Mr. Mackey (Yes him!) called a large number of South Park Freshmen students to his office. It wasn't surprising that I could name each face I saw crammed in the small room. Butters, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Clyde, Bebe, Red, Tweek, and me. Craig Tucker. Oh, joy. This outta be good. It wasn't by the way. I'll tell you now. Life changing? Yes. Good? No.

"M'kay, it seems like everyone's here, m'kay, good." Said our school counselor. I rolled my eyes and flipped him the bird. He ignored my common gesture. "Now kids, I've known you all for a very long time now, m'kay. I've seen you all in my office more times than necessary and, dare I say, 'normal.'" Mr. Mackey actually looked nervous, which was making me nervous- though I didn't show this. "Really, m'kay, I want to apologize to all of you as this should have caught my attention a long time ago." He sighed.

"Dammit, just get to the fucking point!" Snapped Cartman, who was tapping his foot impatiently, something he'd developed over the course of middle school if I remembered correctly. The sound of his fat foot coming in contact with the floor repeatedly was starting to tick me off. Actually, this whole thing was starting to tick me off.

"Fine, Eric. All of you are extremely mentally, socially, and physically unstable." The older man deadpans. All of our mouths fell open, except for Tweek, who took this as old news. Kyle was the first to speak.

"WHAT?" He exclaimed. "What are talking about Mr. Mackey?!" His face looks at him in disgust and horror. Mr. Mackey just shakes his head. "I - Stan is completely normal!" He earned a few glares by not mentioning that anyone else wasn't as Mr. Mackey claimed.

"Erk… I wouldn't say that…really…" Stan mumbled. Kyle glowered over this statement.

"All of us are perfectly normal in the best way!" Butters chirps, rubbing his knuckles together with a nervous smile.

"Gah! I b - bet the gnomes set him up to trick us so that he can send us all to a psych ward where we'll be butt-raped by some guy named Troy and then he'll say we can't say anything because if we - Ack! - do then he'll cut us to death and hide us in the walls in the bathrooms and - GOD THE PRESSURE!" Tweek screeched as he pulled at his blond hair. I routinely placed my hand on his shoulder to steady his violent twitching. He gives me a look of thanks and I give a warm smile, just for him.

"Actually, Tweek, you aren't far off this time." The counselor rubs the back of his neck.

"WHAT?!" He screams. "I don't wanna be butt-raped!"

"God, no! I meant the part about the psych ward thing." Once again, our mouths fell open in shock and disbelief. I pull Tweek closer to me in an attempt to chill him the fuck out. Though I think I needed to chill the fuck out myself. I may look as blank as ever, but on the inside, I was fucking zipping around as fast as a fucking Pikachu.  
"Hm, m'kay… You all can come in now." At his words a door behind his desk opened and through it came two people dressed in scrubs. A man and a woman. They each had a name tagged pinned on the front on their attire. The man's read 'Hippit.' The lady's read 'Lindel.'

What they say when they stand in front of us is honestly a big blur. To sum it up, everyone in the room has been dubbed unfit to stay in this school - or - society for that matter. That each of us has something wrong with us. That we're 'unstable'. I call bull shit. Bull. Fucking. Ass. Licking. Shit. I found myself holding Tweek tightly, but he doesn't seem to mind. I loosen my grip anyway. As the people announce that we're being admitted to Hell's Pass Psychiatric Care, Clyde breaks down crying on the floor. Bebe, his girlfriend, only scowls. Then, all Hell broke loose. What a surprise.

Cartman literally screams. Not even words, he just lets out a long, ear-splitting scream. Which, as you would expect, made Tweek scream. Which only made Clyde sob louder. Bebe grinds her teeth while cursing loudly, Red started filling her nails like the world depended on her rubbing them away to the bone, Butters curls up in a small ball by a chair, Stan loses it and punches Damien, Damien sets the chair by Butters on fire, Kenny starts kicking the wall, Kyle just stands there with fear in his eyes, while I finally flip my shit and nearly squeeze a panicking Tweek to death.

Actually, when I thought about it, I HAVE been hanging with a bunch of nut cases my entire life! Except for Tweek. Despite his appearances, he's the most normal out of all of them.

Clyde cries at the smallest disturbances, Butters is completely brainwashed by his parents, Cartmans a complete sociopath, Damiens the fucking Anti-Christ, Tweeks a skitzo coffee addict, Stans an easily angered alcoholic, Bebe is a total narcissist, Reds OCD has almost killed her numerous times, and I'm a seemingly emotionless douche bag. I'm actually not sure what's wrong with Kyle, besides his total denial of Stan's alcoholism. Then things started getting hazy when I realize there's a bright orange dark stuck in my arm. What the fuck? I quickly and clumsily pull it out. It was pretty quiet now. Most everyone was sloped on the floor, asleep. Tweek was limp in my arms. Despite my efforts, my eyes quickly drooped shut, and I fell backwards onto the floor, taking a sleeping Tweek Tweak with me.

God I hate doctors.

 **A/N: Okay then! So how'd you like it? I like it. So now I'm working on THREE South Park Fanfictions. This will take up time, considering I plan to make all of them long. But if I could get some reviews on this I would be sooo happy. *Derp* Okay, well…**

 **CRAY WOLF OUT!**


	2. Why Bother

**A/N: Hey! Cray Wolf here! Welcome to chapter two of 'We're All Insane!' If you're reading this I'm assuming you must have liked last chapter – I'm so glad! Okay, okay. Enough of the silly Author's Notes. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own South Park nor am I affiliated with it in any way.**

 **WARNING: Trigger warning! I mean, it's a mental hospital. What do you expect?**

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Why Bother**

 **Why must I be so cold?**

 **I always say my words so bold**

 **Why can't I do as I'm told?**

 **Why must the life I see through my eyes**

 **Be covered in shadows**

 **And sprinkled with lies?**

 **Cray Wolf**

* * *

" **It's fun falling 'til you hit the ground."**

 **Cray Wolf**

* * *

I'm not really sure how they _thought_ we would react, but, they sure seemed surprised about what we did when we all awoke in the back of a dark van.

"Ack! Where are we?!" Was what I woke up to.

" _Tweek._ What are you-"I stopped mid-sentence. Wait. Seriously, where are we?

"Hang on…" Suddenly I could see where we were – well, kinda. We were in a moving van. The walls were white and rusted in spots, and so was the floor. Damien had a glowing fire floating above his hands for light.

"Thanks, Damien." I said to him.

"Whatever." He replied.

"No, no, no! What if the fire makes the car explode?! Put it out!" Said a shaking Tweek. I reached my hand over to him and took his hand in mine.

"Don't worry, it won't explode." I reassured him in my dull voice. He only whimpered and his face turned red.

"Ugh! You guys are so fucking gay!" Groaned Cartman. He stood up and started kicking the side of the wall. "Aye! Lemme out! I ain't no psycho!"

"Fuck this shit…" Mumbled Kenny before he stood sleepily and began punching the wall next to Cartman. "This isn't right! You have no right to keep us here!" He yelled.

"Hey! Keep it down in there or its sleepy time for all of ya!" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the wall. That must be where the driver's seat is.

"Guys, stop!" Stan exclaimed. He had a scowl of annoyance painted on his face.

"For real. That's not gonna do anything." Agreed Kyle, who was sitting next to Stan.

"If you guys would stop, I would be soooo happy." I droned.

"Oh sh- shut up, Craig." Cried Clyde, as tears filled his eyes.

"Stop crying…" Grumbled Bebe.

"My FILE! IT'S GONE!" Screamed Red, making Tweek yelp in surprise.

"Uh, F-fellas…" Butters tried to get everyone's attention. Damien looked like he was about to snap. It was too loud in here. Clyde started wailing while Bebe smacked him upside the head.

"OH MY FUCKING CATS!" Roared the Anti-Christ. Cats? "WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP ALREADY?!" Everyone fell quiet.

"Hey! What did I just say?!" Called the man on the other side of the wall.

"Quiet or I'll sentence you to eternity in Hell!" Damien warned the man.

"Just keep it down or its sleepy time, kid!" The man responded. Damien growled under his breath.

"Uh, dude, just warp us outta hyah!" Demanded a worn out Fatass.

"Hm? No way, why would I do that?" Damien laughed. "Hey, you guys will be arriving at Hells Pass soon. I gotta go. Finally you guys will be gone… geez."

"What? Did you set u-us up?" Accused Buttered.

"What? Oh. No, I just got lucky. Haha… See ya. Or not!" And with that he was gone. The van was filled with darkness once more.

"Dick." I said. "He hated us so much he's leaving us in here. That's so awesome…" I muttered sarcasticly.

"Pfft. Like I wanted him around anyway." Cartman barked.

"Hey! We're arriving, so don't try anything funny, got it?" The man yelled to us. No one said anything. Soon the van came to a sudden stop, causing most of us to fall. The back door opened a moment later and the sunlight nearly blinded me. We all stood there, starting at the security guys and two ladies. One lady reached and grabbed Bebe by her arm. She told her to step out of the vehicle and then handcuffed her when she tried to get away. Next, the second lady took Red and handcuffed her too, "for safety", she said. The girls took them all away and into the building ahead.

"W-w-wait! Where a-are you t-t-t-taking them?" Asked Tweek, who was uncharacteristically calm. The male that was handcuffing him paused.

"To the female unit." He said and continued to lock the cuffs.

"Female unit?! We're gonna be separated? Nooooo!" Cried Kenny. Of course that would upset him, the horny bastard. After we were all cuffed, the men brought us into Hells Pass. We went in a way I'd never been before. It was around the side that opened with a key card. We all were crammed into an elevator that also required a card to open. Tweek and I were quiet as every other boy was whining and complaining. Clyde was crying again. We all were taken into separate rooms.

* * *

"Strip." The man had told me.

"What? No." I replied numbly.

"You have to. We have to check your clothes and body to make sure you're not hiding anything."

"I promise I'm not hiding anything." I told him.

"Funny. Now, strip." He said again. After much convincing I finally took of my shirt and handed it to him. He shook it out and felt all over it with his rubber gloved hands. "Clean." He said. "Now you're pants." I did as I was told, revealing my black boxers. He put his hands in my black skinny jean pockets and felt around. He pulled out a chap stick and my wallet. He placed them in a plastic bag.

"Hey. That's mine." I pointed out the obvious.

"Yup. We'll put them in your locker for when you get out." He muttered as though the line were practiced. I was sure it was. I sighed. "Take off your boxers." I blushed as I pulled them down and handed them to him, my other hand covering my now exposed privates. "Oh, so you do have emotions…" The man smirked as he looked through my clothes as I handed him my socks and shoes.

"Fuck you."

"I wouldn't talk like that way to staff, if I were you. I gave the finger. "Ugh. Okay, stretch your arms over your head." He sighed. I blushed deeper as I moved my hands away from my body and put the above my head. "Squat and cough."

"Wait, what?"

"Just do it."

"I'm not hiding anything up my ass, retard." I said in monotone.

Let's just say I did squat and cough. I'm not going into detail about that. And no, there wasn't anything up there. Geez. We finished the strip search and they marked on my chart or something everywhere I had a scar, freckle, birthmark, bruise, or cut. They asked where all the scars and bruises came from and if the cuts were self-inflicted. They weren't, of course. No one was hitting me, and I wasn't ever abused. They continued to ask me questions in some lady's office.

"Do you have a history of drugs and/or alcohol?"

"I've smoked weed, and once I shared a beer with my dad."

"Are you sexually active?"

"…"

"Craig."

"Not recently."

"When was the las time you had sex?"

"My birthday."

"Alright. With a male or female?"

"Female!"

"Oh? More emotions, I see." The lady said. I scoffed. "Have you ever impregnated a female?"

"No."

"What is your sexuality?"

"Straight."

"Okay… Have you ever been in trouble with the law?"

"No." I lied. _Stupid Cartman, getting me in trouble._

"Right. Just remember, we'll be asking your parents the same questions about you." She smiled. It was fake. "Do you have any mental issues?"

"I have an emotional disorder, apparently."

"Interesting. Want to tell me about it?"

"No."

"Hm." She scribbled something down on my chart one last time. "Okay then. That's all we need from you. The rest of my questions will be asked to your parents."

"Are they here?"

"No."

"When can I see them and my sister?"

"That depends on your behavior." She stood up. "Come with me, Mr. Tucker."

The woman lead me onto what I assumed was the unit. "Here." She picked up a cup on a small table and poured water into it from a pitcher. She pulled out a pill from her pocket. She handed it to me. "Take it." She ordered. I was so sick of everything, I didn't even question the medicine. I put it in my mouth and washed it down with water. "Good job." She praised me. I rolled my eyes. She started walking again and I followed her down a hall full of rooms. The rooms had open doors and I caught a glimpse of Clyde, asleep in a bed. She led me into one of the rooms and as soon as I saw who my roommate was, my heart leapt in my chest.

Tweek.

* * *

 **A/N: So, actually, those are question a person might actually ask you there, and I would know, so don't tell me it's not. Also, that is what happens in a strip search, so again, don't tell me it's not. That's all!**

 **CRAY WOLF OUT!**


	3. This is Crazy!

**A/N: Hey, Cray Wolf here! I am so sorry for not posting. I have no excuse. End.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own South Park nor am I affiliated with it in any way.**

 _ **Chapter Three: This Is Crazy!**_

 _ **They wanted out**_

 _ **But I kept them in**_

 _ **I can never let them**_

 _ **Outside Again**_

 _ **Cray Wolf**_

" _ **Maybe I didn't put up my walls to keep people out, maybe I only wanted to see who cared enough to break them down."**_

 _ **Unknown**_

* * *

"Tweek." I said. The messy haired boy looked to my direction.

"Craig! Are you my roommate?" He asked. I looked to the woman at my side. She nodded her head.

"Young man, why are you still awake? That pill should have knocked you out by now!" She fretted.

"Tweek doesn't sleep." I yawned. I walked into the room and took off my hat. I set it on the bed opposite of Tweek's.

"Doesn't sleep! Well that's ridiculous!" She exclaimed. Tweek looked to me and whimpered. _Damn that boy._ _Always making me solve his problems, no matter how small._

"He sleeps sometimes, but rarely. Pills don't make him sleep unless the dose is really high. So…" I trailed off as I sat down on the bed. That pill works _fast._

"W-well what am I supposed to do then? I can't let him stay up all night!" She stressed. I gazed at her like she was the stupidest person I had ever seen. _Why the fuck is she asking_ me? _I'm just a patient here! Evidently._ I laid back on the pillows and made my way under the blanket.

"Just don't…do anything. He'll be…fine…" I assured her before dozing off into a dreamless sleep.

" _Craig."_

"Ugh…Wha-?"

" _Are you awake?"_ Whispered Tweek. I opened my eyes to see a white wall. I forced my body to flip over to face Tweek's bed.

"No." I groaned as I rubbed my dark blue eyes. I focused on the blonde, who was sitting up, legs cris-cross on his bed, facing me. He sighed shakily. I looked around the room after I perched my head on my hand. There was nothing on the stained white walls. They were bare and the floor was cushioned with a foamy material. There were two bright lights in the room, one above my bed and another above Tweek's. The lights looked like they belonged on the ceiling of a Walmart. Both were on and buzzed faintly. The beds were both twin-sized, and were a mahogany colored wood with grey blankets and white sheets. I wondered how many people had slept in these beds.

"Are you scared?" Tweek questioned, tilting his head a little. He sure was acting odd.

"Of course not." I scoffed. _That's ridiculous, I don't even care that I'm here._ He gave me the look I'm famous for. And it freaked me out that he was even capable of making that face – or _not_ making a face. "Okay…So maybe I'm nervous. But I'm not _scared._ " I muttered. "Are _you_ scared?"

"I am." He nodded his head.

"Why aren't you stuttering?"

"I don't know."

"It's creepy."

"Sorry…" He said quietly. I sighed. "I'm glad you're my roommate though!"

"Yeah. Me too. But you can't wake me up in the middle of every night like you do when we sleep over at each other's houses." I drawled.

" _Did."_ He corrected.

"Right…Did…" I repeated sadly.

"You can g-go back t-to sleep, Craig." He stuttered.

"You stuttered…" I yawned. I know I shouldn't be happy about his speech impediment, but I like Tweek the way he is. I don't want him to stop being himself.

"Goodnight, Craig."

"Night."

* * *

"Up, up, up! Everyone up!" Sang a women I couldn't see. I sat up angrily and threw the covers off of me. Someone in the room yelped. And by someone I mean an almost naked Tweek. He was standing by his bed, in pure white underwear and a grey T-shirt in his hands.

"Fuck!" I covered my eyes as a deep blush spread across my face. _Why the hell is my mind so confused?!_

"C-Craig, I-I'm sorry! The tech told me to change into this uniform and that not to worry about the other b-boys and that i-its o-okay be-because guys ch-change with each other all the time and that you wouldn't m-mind and-and I'm s-s-sorry!" He screeched. _Get ahold of yourself, Craig!_

"N-no…You're right. It's okay! You just…startled me. That's all. I've seen you change before anyway." I assured him, slipping back into monotone.

"O-ACK!-kay." He smiled nervously and twitched as he slid the T-shirt on the rest of the way. He pulled it down so that it covered his butt. The shirt was much too large for the thin boy. "You're uniform is right there." He pointed to the desk in between our beds with one hand still keeping his shirt from rising up above his lower half.

"Thanks." I said as I picked it up. I took my shirt off facing away from him. And pulled the shirt on over my chiseled chest. Mine was too big for me too. I sat there for a moment, staring into the wrinkles on my blanket.

"C-Craig?" I looked over my shoulder to Tweek, who was fully dressed. "I'm going o-out there now…" He said awkwardly.

"Right. I'll be out in a moment." I told him as he exited. I pulled down my pants and boxers and looked at the white underwear I had been given. I rolled my eyes as I slid them on.

"Craaig?" Someone whined at the door.

"What do you want Clyde?" I groaned.

"What am I supposed to do after I get dressed?"

"I don't know Clyde, why don't you go ask a nurse or something?" I said as I pulled on the grey sweatpants in my hands.

"I'm scared to." He answered bluntly.

"Of course you are." I heard him whimper at my words.

"I miss Bebe." He sobbed out as I pulled on some white socks. I stood up after grabbing my hat and shoving it on my head. I really didn't want to have to deal with Clyde's issues right now.

"She's fine." I assured him.

"How do you know?" He sniffled. I grimaced.

"Because it's just common sense."

"Oh. O-okay." Clyde choked. He gave me one last look before he slumped out the door way. I tugged the strings of my chullu – hat, pulling it down farther over my forehead. I threw my dirty clothes into the laundry basket on top of the dresser by another door in the room. I sighed again and lumbered out the open door and into the long hallway I was in yesterday. A small sign was on the wall with an arrow pointing to the left with the words "Day Room" underneath. I went the direction it said and met up with Kyle in front of me.

"Hey." I drawled.

"Morning, Craig." He replied with a glance to me. He was wearing clothes identical to my own, and he wasn't wearing his green ushanka like he normally would. "They'll take your hat you know." He said without looking at me.

"Why?" I blinked in confusion. "It's just a hat."

"They might think you'll try and choke yourself with those strings. I know it's ridiculous, but they do things like that at places like these." He advised as he tugged at a stray lock of his red curls. I didn't say anything back. "In other words, you should go put it back in your room, Craig." I sighed.

"Right." I turned around mid-step and slinked back to my room. I tugged off my beloved hat and stuffed it into my pillowcase. Running my fingers through my hair, I thought, _This is going to be a long day…_

"Ah! Welcome… Craig, is it?" Chirped a man upon my entrance to the so called, "Day Room." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah." I took a seat next to a twitching Tweek. The room was a good size. The floor was wooden, with a square carpet surrounded by three couches on different sides, leaving one side free for walking space. Directly across from me was a large flat screen TV encased in a large, clear plastic container with four holes on the bottom left and right corners so that the TV could be heard through the plastic. On each side of the TV were book shelves starved of any books. Instead, there were two tissue boxes on each top shelf, boxes of markers on the second shelves, and stacks of white paper on the third shelves. The fourth shelves were empty. Below the last shelves were cabinets that had locks on them that required a key. Above me was a skylight made up of triangular shards of glass. There were five visible doors that all required a keycard to open. One door had a sign on it that said "Time Out Room," another said, "Nurses station." The rest didn't have signs on them so I couldn't tell what waited behind them. Of course was the hallway that led back to our rooms, but there was one by the Time Out Room that disappeared behind the Nurses Station.

I ran my fingers through my shaggy black hair. My bangs covered one of my icy eyes. Ruby, my sister, always told me I looked emo without my hat. "Yeah. I'm Craig." I confirmed.

"Good! As you may know, Hells Pass Psychiatric Care, is a new addition to Hells Pass Hospital. Before you eight got here, we only had one patient! Over there is Jeremy. And my name is Mr. Stan. Working with me today is also Miss Jay, and Mr. Milton." The man named Mr. Milton was about to speak before it all went to chaos.

"TELL US WHY WE'RE HEAR YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!"

* * *

 **A/N: Okayyyyy. Sorry guys. Cliffhanger. I've been writing this chapter forever and I still have to update my other seemingly abandoned stories. I said I didn't have an excuse earlier, which in a way is true. But I was gone for so long because I myself actually had to return to my own Psychiatric Care Facility. This was my tenth time, and I am so sorry. I plan to NEVER have to go back there again. I just got back last night so with my mind still in hospital mode, I went to update this story first. Thank you for being patient and reading my Fanfiction.**

 **CRAY WOLF OUT!**


	4. Just About a Week Ago

**A/N: Hey, Cray Wolf here! You know the drill, I'm sorry, blah bleh blah. Enjoy this chapter Bee Bloo Blah! Guys, I was Kenny for Halloween and it was awesome!**

 **Disclaimer: South Park isn't mine and I ain't affiliated with it in any way.**

* * *

"Yeah, why're we here?" Chimed Cartman, following Kenny's outburst by standing up. I rolled my eyes. _Here we go._

"I fucking died last night _again,_ and as always, no one remembers! I'm not crazy, ya'll gave me the fucking wrong pill last night and I overdosed on it! Payed Damien a sweet visit in Hell afterwards, the prick, and reincarnated in this nightmare!" Kenny tugged at the bottom of his shirt, crumpling it in his fingers. Cartman gave him a side glance.

"Okay, so I can see why _he's_ here, but why me?" He asked to Kenny's dismay.

"Fucking asshole! I thought we were _friends!_ " Yelled Kenny, poking Cartman's chest with a long, pale finger.

"Don't fucking _touch me_ , you poor piece of shit!" He spat back, and leaned over Kenny intimidatingly. The scrawny teen only scowled up at the huge one's face.

"Cartman! McCormick!" The two boys shot their glares towards the tech that had said their names. "This is _not_ how we handle things." Oh, these people had _no_ idea who they were dealing with.

"It's how _I_ handle things, bitch!" And he slugged Kenny across the face. In the blink of an eye, the woman had Cartman in a head lock. Kenny looked up from where he fell on the floor, nose bleeding, and gaped. "Fuck you! Lemme go!" Cartman was attempting to move, but found he couldn't manage more than a twitch from his restraint. Maybe they _did_ know? Kenny was speechless as Cartman was lugged into the "time out room." Mr. Stan helped Kenny up, and walked him to the nurse's office. He didn't say a word, no one did. All of us had our eyes fixed on the limber woman, who was standing straight and tall, like someone from the military, in front of the TV.

"I don't like to deal with bullshit," she said. "When I call your name, you had better believe I need you to listen." The boy named Jeremy was biting his nails. "I'm not mean," she continued. "I just don't like to be disrespected. I am here to _help you._ My goal is to get you guys out of here, so that you can make something of your lives. Its possible, trust me. I've worked in boot camp, guys. I've done hard labor in the army. I've seen it all, I have. Nothing you guys do will surprise me, which is why I can help. Mr. Stan, Mr. Milton, all the techs here are qualified to help you. If that means we have to restrain you, then so be it." She looked at all of us with a questionable look, then nodded at Mr. Stan. The large, black man took Ms. Jay's place on the floor and cleared his throat.

"That's right. All of you are capable of success, even if you don't feel like it." Success? This is _South Park._ The most someone could make of themselves growing up in a town like this is by _at most_ owning a rundown pup. Mr. Stan said some more things I didn't really pay attention to, and then went on to explain some rules.

Never get up without raising your hand.

Treat staff and other patients with respect.

This is Hell's Pass, not E Harmony. No dating.

No touching other patients.

Always take your medicine.

Walk in a single file.

One person in the bathroom at a time.

Never get out of staff's sight.

Watch your profanity, you aren't sailors.

No contraband.

Etc.

It was pretty boring. When the man mention the no touching rule, everyone scooted at least an inch from everyone around them, including Tweek. I grimaced. Goddammit. Goddammit, goddammit, goddammit, goddammit! This was stupid. So, so stupid. We shouldn't be there. We didn't deserve this. This was prison. This wasn't okay.

That was a week ago.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, okay. Super super short. I just want people to know that I'm not dead! School is being a total bitch!**

 **Cray Wolf, Out!**


End file.
